yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
