I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
