I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
