But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
