big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
