so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am naked and annoyed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
