Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
