when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
