I have demons in me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
