I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
