I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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