Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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