I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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