lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
