Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
