No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
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