Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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