I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
