uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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