Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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