Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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