Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
