and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
