JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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