you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
