Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
