ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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