This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
