ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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