Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
