I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
