I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
