seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
