Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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