pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
