Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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