Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
