I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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