i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you win again, gameday.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
