I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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