Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
