He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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