alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
