Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
