We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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