Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
