We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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