They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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