I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
