I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
