apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize