this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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