Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize