well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
