If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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