Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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