Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
